I don’t care what you do in your bedroom

14/11/23

Pierre-Eliot Trudeau, the former Canadian Prime Minister, was a pivotal figure in the 1970s for decriminalising homosexuality. He famously stated that the government should not meddle in the nation's bedrooms, implying that what consenting adults do in private is not a matter for governmental scrutiny. This forward-thinking attitude was especially empowering for the queer community, enabling them to forge a significant existence within their community. Once their sexuality was decriminalised, they began addressing discrimination in workplaces, eventually leading to the achievement of marriage equality in the 2000s.

A recent example of this ongoing dialogue is Felix Auger-Aliassime, a prominent Canadian tennis player, who suggested a voluntary survey on the pro tour to anonymously identify members of the rainbow community. Notably, there are no openly gay male players on the tour. While several celebrated female players have come out, significantly influencing the community, the number of openly gay players remains minimal.

Reacting to Auger-Aliassime's announcement on Facebook, some echoed a modern variant of Trudeau's sentiment: "I don't care what you do in your bedroom, I only care about how well you play tennis." This attitude, akin to a contemporary "don't ask, don't tell" policy, seems accepting but actually limits the expression and recognition of diverse queer identities. It reduces the act of coming out to a mere declaration of sexual preference, ignoring the broader implications of being queer. Queer identity involves more than just sexuality; it's about how individuals present themselves, form relationships, and contribute to their communities.

From a relational identity viewpoint, the "I don’t care what you do in your bedroom" stance falls short. It overlooks the importance of openly living and expressing a range of queer identities, and the need for acceptance and respect in doing so.