I don’t care vs I care not

The phrase “I don’t care what you do in your bedrooms” often raises the question: does it signify tolerance as in “I’m okay with whatever you do in your bedroom,” or does it imply a desire for ignorance, “I care not to know what you do in your bedroom”? This interpretation suggests a boundary where personal activities are accepted as long as they remain unshared and private. This stance advocates for the discretion of one’s private affairs, especially those of a sexual nature, deeming it socially inappropriate to publicize intimate details.

The concept operates smoothly for those whose identities align with societal norms. Heterosexual individuals, for instance, are not compelled to announce their sexual orientation, as their behaviors and appearances typically do not challenge the status quo. Thus, for them, Trudeau's slogan may simply underscore the principle of maintaining sexual privacy. However, this perspective overlooks a crucial distinction for queer individuals: revealing one’s queer identity is not an overshare of sexual life but an integral part of their lived experience.

In societal interactions, such as attending social events with partners, queer individuals inadvertently disclose aspects of their private lives that heterosexual individuals do not. This difference highlights that a queer life is not merely a 'normal' life with an alternate sexual preference; it is an existence that encompasses every facet of being. Therefore, coming out is not about revealing bedroom activities, but rather about sharing one's true self and the entirety of one's life experiences.

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Beyond the Self: Exploring Relational Identity and Holistic Connections

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I don’t care what you do in your bedroom